Love Comes First

It was a little discouraging this week to read of the following experience.

Rebecca did come to church this week! And she stayed for the first 2 hours this time! But we had a crazy experience with her this week. You see, early in the week we taught a lesson on modesty because she was not very modest at sacrament the week before, and we just felt inspired to teach it because we did not want anybody to make an offensive comment to her this week. In the lesson we warned her very clearly, that people aren’t perfect, and people will say or do things that might be offensive to her. We told her that some people in the church will feel it their duty to tell her how to be a better parent, or how to dress, or how her kids should dress, or what kind of language she should/shouldn’t be using. And not even 24 hours later we go to her house, just because we felt prompted to, not because we had an appointment, and we happened to show up 5 minutes after the Cops left. She was P.O.ed Someone had called the cops on her for letting her children walk around the neighborhood unsupervised. And she knew it was this petty woman who lives a couple doors down who is in her ward... So after a couple of minutes of listening to her swear and speak her mind we helped calm her down and we re-taught how the church is perfect and the people are far from perfect. She understood and told us it wouldn’t keep her from coming to church on Sunday. So then she came to church on Sunday and that evening the woman who she had blamed for calling the cops showed up at her door.... And this happened to be 15 minutes before our appointment with her... So the woman confronted Rebecca and told her that she doesn’t appreciate being blamed for calling the cops, and she told her it wasn’t her, and then she continued to say that even though she didn’t call she doesn’t think it is right how Rebecca lets her kids roam around the neighborhood by themselves, and continued to tell her how she should be raising her children... So that made her super P.O.ed! And when Elder Raimondi showed up with his split, she kind of just yelled at them again and told us she doesn’t want anything to do with this church and those kinds of people.

So that’s the story... Kind of crappie eh? We really believe she just needs to cool down for a while. It’s not coincidence that we taught her 3 times in a row that the church is perfect and the people are not. So I am positive that it has sunk deep within her. But still! Members are so frustrating sometimes! If we could all just discard the judgmental card this work would be so much easier! I admit before the mission I would be judging people in Rebecca’s situation pretty harshly, but now that I am along side her and helping to buoy her up, I hope I will never judge anyone like that again. Those people in crappie situations need more love and more support than anyone! And it is just frustrating when people are too judgmental and to far beyond hope for those people. The last thing they need is judgmental and discouraging, hopeless people around them!

As I have pondered on this experience many thoughts have come to me. I started with thoughts of how sad to have someone feel so judged. Then it evolved into the decision to choose not to be offended. Today the best inspiration came when the realization brought me to understand that as individuals we typically do not set out to hurt or harm another. The help that this ward member was offering was most likely really good and needed help. The problem was that Rebecca did not feel loved first. It has been my experience that you can change a lot of behavior if the individual knows and feels your love first. It is my hope that Rebecca will give this another chance and will be wrapped into the love of the members. I believe she will accept the help and the suggestions to improve her life if she just feels she is loved first. Maybe right now she does not feel the need to change. Growth usually comes as it does with plants.....one day at a time. There are times when we sprout and grow quickly, but in other times we have to push against the wind or the wall. Either way Rebecca and her children will be in my prayers. Landon is invested emotionally in this family. I hope he can teach her to come to the Savior and His atonement to find the peace and comfort she can have. His is the only lasting peace and will outlast the transfer of a loving missionary.

I just want to say how thankful I am for the privilege it is to share in the experiences of a missionary son. What a journey this is! I am so very thankful for the blessings our family is receiving as Landon serves with all of his might, mind and strength. This is truly on of the seasons of joy spoken of in the scriptures.